*Jordan eats some lollies from last Halloween in his drawer*

Jordan: Be ok I ate a tin of tuna from 2004 the other day and I was ok

*Cuts finger open really bad*

Jess/Rebecca/Jon: How did you do that?

Jordan: Put my hand in a toaster

Khellem

Jordan: I’m gonna show you how to play the fiddle… I’ll send you a photo’

Amy: ‘I don’t want to see your fiddle thank you!’

*Front row at orchestra* Can’t wait to get my fiddle out

Berlin’s not in Germany, it’s its own country

I know how Tinder works, trust me.

I put shampoo on my hair first while it’s dry before I get in the shower. To soak in.

Jordan: ‘My dentist told me off for the way I’m cleaning my retainer’

Jess: ‘Why how do you clean it? Have you been using toothpaste cos that scratches it?’

Jordan: ‘No, I use a jewellery cleaner’