Matt: Do you know who Stuart Lee is?
Jordan: No, does he know who I am?

I got bored last night and cooked a few scones

What’s not illegal these days?

It’s too believable not to believe it

My whole life is interesting Biddy

I’m not a millionaire, my parents are

I’m just going marry lager, it’s never let me down

Matt: Can you ride a bike?

Jordan: Yeah I can ride a unicycle

*Talking about the biltong Dan brought in looking like dog food*

Jordan: Its the best dog food I’ve ever eaten

Matt: You’ve eaten dog food before?

Jordan: Yeah, and cat food

Talking about how the stickers on apples are edible

Jordan: It’s like those packing peanuts you can eat