Listen to the lyrics of ‘Life is a rollercoaster’ and think of rape.

At least when it rains you won’t see my tears.

This tastes like food poisoning.

Me mate has gone all Hollywood on me.

Matt: Cheesestrings are better than I remember.
Jordan: It depends what you remember though.

*In reference to a girl tweeting Adidas* To be fair if I was Adidas I’d have a conversation with her too.

Jordan: Billie, touch this
Billie: WAT

Adam: Glen left last Friday
Jordan: When did this happen?

I’d eat owt within reason.

A machine that die cuts like a crocodile.