Chris: Your belt is worth £250? Its worth more than I have on!
Jordan: Keeps my trousers up though

You can eat paper its fine

I used to watch everything on 1.5x speed because I couldn’t be bothered to sit through 1hr 30m movies

Beth: Why do you know so many dodgy people?
Jordan: It better to know them than not
Beth: Is it?
Jordan: I don’t know

Beth: How many dodgy people do you know?
Jordan: A few hundred

It’s like Big Brother’s house

Stop looking in my moisturized ear

I try to think about what I say but I’ve got a monkey in my head going

Lewis: You’re like a young Karl Pilkington

Jordan: That’s a bad compliment

*Talking about WiFi password*

Jordan: It’s only secure if you know the password

Michael: If you don’t know the password?

Jordan: Yeah

*James talking about Genghis Khan*

Jordan: Genghis? Isn’t that a Pokemon